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Realisation

 

 


I'm here...present. but it dont count
Even if she ain't here , she present
All the effort and energy, you dont see
Why am I here??? I'm intelligent
I ain't no fool, but for you I dumb it down .

Header she is, I'm an afterthought
Tired I am... but you dont see
Supposed to be cool with everything,
I have a script ready. I wanna cry
But i ain't allowed. Thick skin I have
For you, it's never asked if I'm okay.

I wanna love you hard, trying for me
But for you it ain't no option .
Was not born for second to none
The ancestors know I'm a starseed
I give you countless chances
For me you were not born an option.

The inner me knows it's a trap
Outer me feels like heaven with you
I'm never honest with myself
The truth is a hard pill to swallow
I swallow all of you in, but if it wasnt DNA
I wouldn't get nothing from you.

I take you in any form I can
Miss a chance and its history
I hold onto any part of you I can
Even shedding skin for you is a lot
I'm dismissed any chance you get
Any chance I get i wanna tell you how I feel.

Tired of doing it all over again
Desperation or defensiveness
I can never hear them tell me like it is
Rather live in my own fantasies
Have you perfect in my head but never reality
Grasping onto what could be and never what it is.

I'm drained in a way .....
Never wanna show you fragile me
I don't know how I expect you to get it
But low me craves your attention
Ready for you to fill in the gaps
But you create the rift between us.

Should I end it
Not us this time... but you with me
I want to be free of all this
Smile and not think of you
Smoke and not see you dissipate
Watch me grow and water it more.


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