These are the type of people that make people wish trailers were available for people too so you know what's coming your way.
The confusion of emotion usually makes one not know the look of exactly what they're looking for . If we all knew what love or safety looked like we would have never fallen in the wrong arms. Most times the rough idea is there but the events that lead to a decision making scenario determine the outcome. Everyone is capable of love but not everyone has love to give, some hurt people because they were hurt too so they never knew how to love. Some people are just toxic and are not even sorry about it and it is with such people that you should be careful.
People who want things for the sake of having them, no intention to keep and nurture but every intent to use. These type of people will suck you dry and still make excuses for their actions, they will tear you to shreds but always remember they can break you but can never end you. They know all they want to do is hurt you and take away parts of you but they never stay away because you are hard to ignore. Your presence is felt when you walk into a room,your voice commands respect and your aura exudes confidence and they feel they want to "own" that because everyone else around them wants you too.
To them you're a trophy- something to be shown off to everyone because they finally have something that everyone else wants. People like this always forget though that you come with extras, once the dust settles and the truth comes out reality sets in and they realise you're a cyclone that can't be tamed. The shitty excuses come out round this time and you start hearing lines like " its not you, its me" ; "I knew you deserved better" - you start wondering why then were you being selfish with me, getting with me because you just wanted a taste or a feel of how it would be to date a CRAZY girl. They already broke you with such lines without even realising it.
Noone understands that your feelings are not basic, your life is not as balanced as everyone else around you. You feel things in a different way. Everything is 10× the normal , your emotions are intense- sadness to you means having a breakdown and having soaked pillow from the midnight crying and anger means burning down everything in your way and not even looking back. When your heart breaks you dont cry but you become a robot or invisible. You don't care anymore and you dont even feel, that's when you want whatever numbs the pain and makes you forget. You realise that all this while you've been getting attached to someone who was never present from the jump and now you have to get them out of your system.
The moment you start making progress that's when they try crawl their way back into your life because they think you will accept them with open arms hoping a part of you still loves them. They dont know you purged yourself of them, cleansing yourself of their toxicity. I learnt the hard way that pain doesn't last forever, I ran away from it for as long as I could but at some point my legs couldn't carry me any further and I fell.
I realised that if something is meant for you it will always be there and pain is necessary for GROWTH. The next time you come across energy that you've encountered before you know not to waste time and entertain them because you know the pain that comes with it. For everything taken from you, something better will replace it - its natures way of maintaining balance . It takes a lot to be a nice, kind soul after going through hell and if you're going through something right now just know that nothing lasts forever and I am rooting for you and sending you my love ...
Xxx
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